Money disagreements top causes of arguments between friends on holiday

According to new research from Starling Bank, more than half (51%) of adults have fallen out with a friend on holiday, with 54% of these arguments triggered by disagreements over money.

Gen Zs are most likely to have crossed words over spending, with 71% of 18-24-year-olds saying they’d fallen out with a friend in the sunshine over finances.

And sadly, 16 % of all those surveyed couldn’t bury the hatchet and have permanently lost a friend because of money-related holiday disputes.

The study found that 75% of people who holiday with friends admit to overspending by an average of £261.50. Despite 61% saying they worried about overspending, 12% ended up exceeding their budgets because of pressure to keep up with their more extravagant friends. And:

• Half (50%) say they avoid going on holiday with certain friends, with a third (32%) saying they know they can't match their lavish holiday spending.
• Nearly half (46%) have been on unplanned excursions or activities, while 29% found food and drinks were more expensive than expected.
• Half (50%) didn't create a budget before their last trip, with 37% wishing they had. 50% also didn't discuss budgets with friends, leading 13% to feel guilty for not being able to spend as much.

On a more positive note, among those who did discuss budgets in advance, more than a quarter (28%) said it made the holiday much less stressful, and 22% said it helped set clear expectations. 13% even felt it improved their friendships.

As clinical psychologist Dr. Jenna Vyas-Lee of Kove explains, "There are many reasons why we overspend on holidays with friends, like social comparison and FOMO. But this can seriously impact both friendships and finances, leading to stress, anxiety, guilt and even lost friendships. Being open about budgets is crucial to avoid these problems."

What can you do to avoid friendship wars over holiday spending?

Money can be a thorny issue in friendships especially if you add expensive trips and summer sun into the mix. But, by following these six tips you can make sure you have a holiday filled with laughter and memories no matter what your spending capability is.

Set clear expectations before you go

One of the best ways to avoid financial disputes with friends on holiday is to have an open and honest conversation about money before you even set off. You should speak to friends to:

• Establish a budget that everyone is comfortable with, taking into account accommodation, transportation, food, and activities.
• Decide how you'll split expenses, whether it's equally or based on individual participation in certain activities.
• Determine who will be responsible for making bookings and payments, and how they will be paid back by the group.

By setting clear expectations upfront, you can reduce the risk of misunderstandings and make sure everyone is on the same page about holiday expenses.

Keep track of shared expenses

When on holiday, it's easy to lose track of who paid for what, especially when you're having a great time. To avoid confusion and potential disputes, it's a good idea to keep a record of shared expenses. Consider using a smartphone app designed for splitting bills, or simply keep a written log of who paid for what and how much each person owes. This transparency will help maintain a sense of fairness and stop any friends from feeling like they're being taken advantage of financially.

Be willing to compromise

It's natural for friends to have different preferences and priorities when it comes to holiday activities and expenses. Some might want to splurge on fine dining experiences, while others prefer to stick to a tighter budget. To avoid falling out over these differences, it's important to be willing to compromise.

Consider taking turns choosing activities or restaurants, so everyone has a chance to enjoy their preferred experiences without breaking the bank.

If there's an activity that some friends want to do but others can't afford, consider splitting up for a day or two, allowing each group to enjoy their chosen activities without pressuring others to spend beyond their means.

Be honest

If financial tensions do arise during your holiday, it's crucial to address them openly and honestly. Avoid letting resentment build up, as this can lead to larger conflicts down the line. Instead, take a moment to have a calm, private conversation with your friend or friends about what’s worrying you.

• Express your concerns in a non-confrontational manner, focusing on finding a solution rather than placing blame.
• Listen to your friends' perspectives and be open to finding a compromise that works for everyone.
• Remember that your friendship is more important than any monetary dispute. Any friend who would happily see their mate end up in debt because of holiday spending isn’t a true friend.

Plan some solo time

While holidaying with friends can be lots of fun, it's also be equally enjoyable to spend some time apart. Going on a solo trip or relaxing on your own can help resolve financial tensions and give each person a chance to enjoy activities that fit their budget.

Encourage friends to go and do what they want on their own for some of the trip, whether it's exploring a local market, visiting a museum, or simply relaxing by the pool.

This solo time can help avoid financial disagreements and also offers a much-needed break from group dynamics.

Celebrate friendships, not material things or activities

At the end of the day, remember that the most valuable part of your holiday is the time spent with your friends. While financial fallouts can be stressful, try not to let them overshadow your experiences and the strength of your friendships.

Take time to memories you're creating together. Focus on the laughing together, inside jokes, and the bond that brought you together in the first place. By keeping your priorities in perspective, you'll be better equipped to handle any financial challenges that arise, making sure your holiday is a celebration of friendship rather than a source of conflict.